The Elmer Family

For those who have facebook and have seen my many posts about this...

I'm sorry.

For those who don't, this may be new to you.

I have been struggling with some skin issues on my face for not quite two months now. I hadn't changed anything in products nor in my diet. It started out by feeling like my upper lip was burnt...or like I needed some chap-stick asap! Then I started noticing dark circles under my eyes. I of course being the female I am started freaking out and pointing it out to Brad EVERY morning. It went something like this:

Me: "oh my gosh Babe...look at me! I have dark circles! What? Me? OMG, I need more sleep. It must be from lack of sleep from Beckett wanting to nurse and just the exhaustion of having three now right???????"

Him: "oh, bummer...I don't know" back to t.v. or phone.

Me: "Do you see it??? I can see it, that's bad, oh man this is weird"

It sounded like that for quite a few mornings. Then one day I was headed over to my friend Megan's house and I felt my eyes burning and my forehead was itching and again my lip burning... Huh, weird.

Well that all progressed into full on flare ups. Every week to two weeks I go through a cycle, I can feel it coming on because of said symptoms above, then my eyes, forehead, and lip get super red, itchy, weepy, and dry, scab up, flake away...repeat cycle.

I don't mean to sound vein, but I am a girl and when it comes to my face...well, I am. This has affected me a lot. I don't feel like people realize just how much and that is ok, this is definitely not for pity :) I will not go into the depths of my emotions...I will spare you all that drama I'm sure you have enough of that yourselves ;)

I started googling my symptoms...pretty depressing. Seems that hundreds, probably thousands have these symptoms and have yet to find a cure. This is literally driving people crazy. People have done everything trying to figure it out...replaced everything, switched this to that, got rid of their mattress (wowza!) seen allergists only to have their allergy tests come back negative, have doc after derm, after doc after derm prescribe oodles of medicines and creams only to mask the symptoms and not solve them.

So what do I do???

Facebook it of course.

I have received some really awesome tips from friends on facebook and here is what I have tried:

no makeup...yikes

switched laundry soap to method free and clear

use castile Dr. Bronner's soap

only Vaseline on face during episodes...no other lotions or moisturizers

cleaned makeup brushes

new eye makeup

organic produce

and the latest is probiotics...highly recommend these...seems to really be helping out with the eczema on my hands!

So this weekend I had the worst outbreak yet...started on friday... peeked on sunday, still around today so I hopped out of shower, smothered on Vaseline...no makeup, threw on sunglasses and went to the dermatologist hoping...PRAYING that SOMEONE could look at me while I still looked like a monster.

My prayers were answered. Someone had just called to cancel and I got in right away!

Here is my diagnosis:

Perioral Dermatitis

Hmmmm...Interesting, considering the main issue is my eyes AND forehead AND upper lip...nothing around my mouth. BUT, I am desperate to try anything at this point and she swore up and down that is what I have. She prescribed Tetracycline antibiotic for a month and said I can know longer nurse... I was not ready for that. She said there is other less aggressive treatments that may or may not work so I could continue to nurse, but, I am on the brink of a break down with my self image at this point. I held myself together, grabbed the white slip from her, put my shades on and left. and cried.

I was not expecting to be so emotional over not being able to nurse anymore, Beckett is six months now and we had a good run while it lasted. I am VERY grateful for lasting that long and feel good about that, but I guess I wanted to give up nursing on my own terms and not so abruptly. I will take a week or so before I start the meds to indulge in a few more nurse/snuggle sessions and then call it quits. I just feel like he may be our last and I am not ready to nurse for the last time...sounds silly to some, but hard for me.

Anyways, I will keep you all posted on whether this works or not, I am EXTREMELY skeptical, but trying to keep a positive mood/energy. Thanks to all for your love and support and listening to me complain on and on about this :)